You like to think you can avoid the mess of disconnection and discord in relationships. But you can’t. 

The simple truth is relationships are complex.

As you and your partner seek a deeper, more sustainable connection, you'll also experience uncomfortable yet necessary and powerful times of discord and disconnection. In recognizing the uncomfortable moments and reaching beyond your autopilot reactions and responses real, relational healing happens. It’s about taking personal responsibility for creating a safer relationship by keeping the focus on what you have influence over: you.

There’s nothing wrong with you (or your partner)…it’s just that you learned early on how to survive inside relationships.

It makes sense. Inside relationships, through generational lines, every one of us has been harmed —and— every one of us has caused harm. We all experience pain and fear. We protect from anticipated relational pain and fear by moving towards or away from what doesn’t feel okay based on our histories. Moment by moment, day by day, we have opportunities to develop deeper capacity and presence. When you and your partner(s) slow down and address the ways you experience discord and disconnection, you build trust in yourself and your relationship. As you develop insights and skills to address the discord together, you expand your capacity to navigate rupture and repair.

When you understand the ways the protective (historical) stances you take contribute to distance and pain you and your partner(s) experience in your relationship you open pathways for new relational learnings. My work is to guide you into a deeper understanding of the implicit patterns you reenact on autopilot, teach you new relational skills, and help you develop conscious daily practices. You relationship will change form when you each practice tending to the parts of you that need tending, rather than foisting your unmet needs off towards your partner(s) to deal with. You’ll begin to notice and explore what big change may require of you.

Your work unfolds inside your relational practices.

I draw from a blend of powerful modalities for healing relational trauma including Relational Life Therapy (RLT), Internal Family Systems (IFS), Intimacy From The Inside Out (IFIO), Developmental and Relational Trauma Therapy (DARTT), Somatic Experiencing® (SE), and The STAIR Method (IPNB) to help you bring the most authentic version of your Self into relationship with skill and health. I’ve long been supporting married couples and adults in consensual committed relationships to make powerful insights, sustain lasting change, and integrate healthy new relational skills to repair connection, infidelity and trust, increase intimacy, improve communication, and deepen relational integrity. Inside this work, I have found that the traditional format of ongoing relationship therapy tends to leave partners leaning on me to “fix” them rather than center on their own development of skills and practices to support relational growth.

I am moving away from offering traditional ongoing couples therapy and instead offering relationship intensives.

Additional FAQs about these intensive offerings are provided on the bottom of the intensive page and you are welcome to schedule a consultation call to discuss further. Partners in the states of New York, Massachusetts, and Colorado who have completed a workshop or intensive with me are welcome to schedule 90-minute relationship sessions for guidance around sticky issues.