somatic relationship therapy

I help married couples and people in consensual committed relationships make powerful insights, sustain lasting change, and integrate healthy new relational skills to repair connection, infidelity and trust, increase intimacy, improve communication, and deepen relational integrity.

People come to me hurting, just about ready to give up hope.

They tell me that they’ve been to two, three, four other therapists, tried everything, and that this is their last stop. Sometimes they walk away with a breakthrough. Other times, they walk away with a break-up, because that’s life.

You like to think you can avoid the mess of disconnection and discord in relationships.

But you can’t. 

The simple truth is relationships are complex.

As you and your partner seek a deeper, more sustainable connection, you'll also experience uncomfortable yet necessary and powerful times of discord and disconnection.

In recognizing the uncomfortable moments and reaching out — beyond your autopilot reactions and responses — real, relational healing happens. It’s about taking personal responsibility for creating a safer relationship by keeping the focus on what you have influence over: you.

You’ve adapted to protect against harm based on your history.

And it makes so much sense. Inside relationships, through generations, every one of us has been harmed —and— every one of us has caused harm. We all experience pain and fear. We protect from anticipated relational pain and fear via disconnection. Moment by moment, day by day, you have opportunities to develop deeper capacity and presence. When you both slow down and address the ways you experience disconnection, you nurture trust in yourself and your relationship. As you develop insights and skills to address the discord in your relationship together, you expand your capacity to navigate rupture and repair.

I’ll help you understand the historical stances you take that contribute to distance and pain you both experience in your relationship. I’ll guide you into a deeper understanding of the implicit patterns both of you reenact on autopilot and teach you new relational skills to make a conscious practice. You’ll both develop a practice tending to the parts of you that need tending, rather than foisting onto your partner to deal with. As we identify these patterns, you’ll begin to notice when it shows up, and explore what big change may require of you. Much of your work will continue to unfold in your relational practices, between our sessions.

I draw from a blend of powerful modalities for healing relational trauma including Relational Life Therapy (RLT), Developmental and Relational Trauma Therapy (DARTT), Somatic Experiencing® (SE), and Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB) to help access and heal the heart of the problem so that you bring the most authentic version of your Self into relationship with skill and health.

My integrative approach blends deepening self-trust with brain-savvy no-bullshit skill building to help you... 

...make powerful insights, sustain lasting change, and integrate healthy new relational skills into your daily life.

...address your most troubling issues head-on and target your problem behaviors, underlying core issues, and past traumas.

...move back into connection, work through infidelity and trust issues, increase intimacy, improve communication, and deepen relational integrity.

...hold yourselves, each other, and your relationship in warm regard.  

Many of my clients report powerful and significant shifts early in our work together. 

I find couples make more progress with longer sessions combined with your own practicing of the skills you learn in our sessions between sessions. The more you practice, the greater chance you and your partner have at deepening your relational health. I offer ongoing 90-minute couple therapy sessions, every two weeks to people in the states on New York, Massachusetts, and Colorado. For more information about how I work please review my FAQs and my fees pages.

I work with people (18+) of all races, religions, cultures, abilities, genders, sexualities, and consensual relationship structures who are interested in relational healing.